http://69.89.31.155/~ahavasis/index.php en shelomo@gmail.com Copyright 2010 2010-09-07T09:53:11-05:00 http://ahavasisrael.org/site/the_short_vort_to_cry_or_not_to_cry_9_7_10/ http://ahavasisrael.org/site/the_short_vort_to_cry_or_not_to_cry_9_7_10/#When:08:53:11Z The Short Vort Good Morning!   Today is Tuesday the 28th of Elul 5770 and September 7, 2010   To Cry or Not to Cry   ·        “Whoever does not find himself moved to tears during ‘these days’; this indicates that his soul is neither complete nor proper”.   (AriZal; Sha’ar HaKavanos 4:1)   ·        “One should not cry on Rosh Hashanah as the verse says: “and do not be sad, for the joy of the Lord is your strength”.   (Ma’she Rav 207)   We can certainly relate to the first source quoted above which indicates the necessity and the praiseworthiness of being moved to cry on Rosh Hashanah; after all is it not Yom HaDin (the Day of Judgment)?   However, less known is the explicit verse in Sefer Nechemia in which Ezra exhorts the people with regard to Rosh Hashanah: "Go, eat fat foods and drink sweet drinks and send portions to whoever has nothing prepared, for the day is holy to our Lord, and do not be sad, for the joy of the Lord is your strength." (Nechemia 8:10)   Indeed, as the Vilna Gaon points out (Ma’aseh Rav 207), crying has no place on Rosh Hashanah.   Therefore we do not: 1.      Fast on Rosh Hashanah; 2.      We do not say Vidui (confession); 3.       We do say Selichos. 4.      In fact with the exception of U’Nesaneh Tokef, which was a later addition to the davening, we never mention Teshuva (repentance) on Rosh Hashanah;   How then do we reconcile the statement from the Ari’Zal and the opinion of the Vilna Gaon?   If one looks carefully in the words of the Ari’Zal, one notices that he does not say one should cry, rather, he says, one should ‘be moved to tears’.   Perhaps this is the true challenge of Rosh Hashanah. On one hand one has to be moved in their insidesto tears; however, their outward countenance must remain joyful and happy as indeed befits the coronation of the king!   Indeed, this is the true Avodah (challenge) of Rosh Hashanah; to feel on the ‘inside’ that you are in dire straights, while on the ‘outside’ you exhibit joy and celebration at the King’s coronation!   How does one show a chipper face to the entire outside world while simultaneously being shattered  on the inside?   Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach Zt”l knew how.               It was a sad day in Yerushalayim when the wife of Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach passed away. They were married for 50 plus years and they were blessed with a blissful and joyous marriage. As Rav Shlomo Zalman was heading out of Sha’arei Zedek Hospital following his wife’s passing, a young man saw the sage and proceeded to approach him and ask him a kashrus question which had occurred during lunch at the fellow’s home. Rav Shlomo Zalman listened as patiently and as attentively as he always did then he answered the man’s question, bid him farewell, and went to inform the rest of his family- including his wife’s elderly mother who lived with them- of the passing of the Rebbetzen.   The next day in the midst of his observing Shiva, the young man who had met Rav Shlomo Zalman the day before, came into the house and began begging and pleading with the Rav for forgiveness.             “I had no idea that the Rav was just emerging from the hospital immediately after the Rebbetzen has passed away. I would have never disturbed the Rav with my mundane manners at such a time. Please forgive me; I had no idea….”   Rav Shlomo Zalman looked at the man and responded quietly, “there is nothing to ask mechilla (forgiveness) for. You had no idea that my wife had just passed away. And although inside I was destroyed and I was a broken and shattered vessel, for the outside world- it is my obligation to receive everyone B’Sever Ponim Yafos (a cheerful countenance). Why should my problems impact negatively on your day?”   Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach Zt”l understood how a person can be ‘brought to tears’ on the inside while maintaining a happy face and countenance to the outside world.   May we be privileged to emulate Rav Shlomo Zalman on Rosh Hashanah.  short Vort 2010-09-07T08:53:11-05:00 http://ahavasisrael.org/site/the_short_vort_now_you_are_all_set_9_5_10/ http://ahavasisrael.org/site/the_short_vort_now_you_are_all_set_9_5_10/#When:20:39:45Z The Short Vort Good Morning!   Today is Sunday the 26th of Elul 5770 and September 5, 2010   Now You Are All Set   The year was 1967 and the Red Sox were playing the Cardinals in the World Series. All of the boys in the class knew about Carl Yastrzemski and Bob Gibson more than they knew about their pesukim in Chumash.   First day Rosh Hashanah was October 5, 1967 and the Red Sox defeated the Cardinals at Fenway Park 5-0!   In Brooklyn a small young child is experiencing his first Rosh Hashanah when he can go to Shul by himself.   As the young boy makes his way to Shul, he decides to explore the different rooms and crannies of the Shul before making his way to sit next to his father.   There are two minyanim going on in the Shul; the upstairs minyan with a Chazzan and the downstairs ‘over-flow’ minyan where things move a little quicker.   Being that his father has ‘tickets’ downstairs, the little boy decides to wonder upstairs to check things out. He enters the large Shul where all are the men are decked in Talleisim and seemingly engrossed in tefillah.   As the boy takes a few steps into the room, he decides to be one of the ‘big men’ and grabs a talis to wrap himself in. As his body is not quite big enough to accommodate the large Talis, it hangs improperly and begins to fall off. An older gentleman approaches the boy and gingerly assists the boy in putting on his talis. The older gentleman adjusts the boy’s talis, and then gives him a siddur and proudly announces to the boy, “Now you are all set!”   The boy looks at the man somewhat quizzically and wonders to himself, “What exactly am I all set for?”   It’s been almost 43 years since that incident occurred in my life. And I still do not know the answer to the question, “What exactly am I all set for?”   Meaning, how often on Rosh Hashanah do we do exactly as the elderly gentleman did to me 43 years ago? We have all the clothes and all the moves, we have all the outer trimmings which allow the person on the outside to assume that ‘we are all set’; however, are we really ‘all set’?   Is that what Rosh Hashanah is all about? Wearing the Talis in the exact proper way and opening the Siddur to the correct page? Does that cause us to be ‘all set’?   It’s been 43 years since the elderly Jew adjusted my Talis in Brooklyn; I did not feel ‘all set’ backthen, and I still do not feel ‘all set’ today.   Three days and counting….  short Vort 2010-09-05T20:39:45-05:00 http://ahavasisrael.org/site/the_short_vort_pgif_and_the_triple_play_9_3_10/ http://ahavasisrael.org/site/the_short_vort_pgif_and_the_triple_play_9_3_10/#When:18:16:44Z The Short Vort Good Morning!   Today is Friday the 24th of Elul 5770 and September 3, 2010   PGIF and the Triple Play    It was Friday at 7:09 pm and I had just arrived for Mincha. There was only one other person in the Shul and he was yawning and looking exhausted as I entered. As soon as he saw me, he perked up and began to pull himself together. I really can’t stand when people do that. Why do people think they cannot appear tired in front of the rabbi? Do they think I never sleep? Well I hate to burst your bubble of me, however, I do (not as much as I would like to) sleep! And guess what? I am sometimes tired!   Anyway, let’s continue. So this fellow who is tired and exhausted, jumps up and says, “Oh, rabbi, sorry I am so tired. However, Thank G-d it’s Friday! I just so need shabbos to be able to recharge my batteries. I am sure you know that as a rabbi, you can relate to that! Therefore my motto rabbi is TGIF- Thank G-d it’s Friday!”   Me: “No sir, as a matter of fact, I cannot relate to that at all. In truth, while for you, today is the end of the work week and the beginning of ‘off-time’, for me it is not the case at all. Today, Friday afternoon, is like Monday morning 8 A.M. for you! Right now the ‘fun’ is just beginning.  Therefore for me it is not TGIF-  Rather, for me it is PLIF-  Please G-d (help me, because) It’s Friday!”   Indeed, Shabbos is the day when I say, “Although, I would never trade my Shabbos for anyone else’s”; nevertheless, it is grueling. And the gruel begins on Friday morning.   For some reason which I have never figured out, most marital, health and financial issues always seem to explode on Fridays!   Therefore, when I sit down at my desk on Friday at 9 o’clock, after learning the Daf and Davening, time becomes my biggest concern.   However, there is one especially time sensitive issue which is particular to my life which exists on Fridays.   Being that my three oldest sons live in Jerusalem and the two oldest are married with children of their own, Fridays are a particularly challenging time. I so look forward to speaking to my sons and daughters in law, (Hashem has blessed me with the world greatest daughters in law) and my grandchildren. However, since there exists a seven time difference between the two countries, when it’s 10 in the morning by us and the day is just beginning, Shabbos can be already arriving in Yerushalayim! Too often –especially in the winter- by the time I pick up the phone, it is Shabbos in Jerusalem.   However, today, I hit the ‘hat trick’- I had a ‘triple play’! (In sport, a hat-trick (or hat trick) means to achieve a positive feat in the sport three times during a game, or other achievements based on threes. For instance in association football or ice hockey a player might score three goals, whilst in cricket a bowler might take three wickets in three deliveries.)   Today at 10 o’clock my youngest son called me from the Holy City. We chatted and chilled and not more than thirty seconds after we hung up, my second son called to talk. And to make it a clean sweep, as I was finishing up the conversation, my oldest son called in. Indeed, I believe it was the first time in a long time that all three of them called and I was free and able to spend some time talking to all of them!   And although these words were originally intended to be penned at 11 in the morning, and now it is after 7 P.M. and Shabbos is arriving, I had to tell you this.   If my children only knew how much it meant to me that each one took the time to call their old Pop and wish him a good Shabbos, they would run to call. It meant so much to me and it costs so little. I had a smile on my face the entire day.   Friends, Rosh Hashanah is Wednesday night; make sure you call your mother or call your brother; there is nothing you can do which costs so little, yet, is so valuable!  short Vort 2010-09-03T18:16:44-05:00 http://ahavasisrael.org/site/the_short_vort_the_rabbi_and_the_cook_9_2_10/ http://ahavasisrael.org/site/the_short_vort_the_rabbi_and_the_cook_9_2_10/#When:09:50:52Z The Short Vort Good Morning!   Today is Thursday the 23rd of Elul 5770 and September 2, 2010   The Rabbi and the Cook   Yesterday, I played hooky from the office for two hours by escaping to Boro Park. As I have written before, I enjoy seeing Hashem’s children and what better place to see them than in Boro Park?   Besides a couple of errands and meeting up with my son to bring him a package before Yom Tov, - I was not in any special rush. As I entered Boro Park a Chassidishe man motions to me if he can hitch a ride with me. I was still on Cortelyou Road and not even in Boro Park per se.   I looked at him in his Chassidishe Levush (his Chassidic mode of dress) and as I noticed that the outside temperature was topping 93 degrees, I pulled over and motioned him to enter my car.   As he sat down he began to speak the vernacular of most Jews in Boro Park, namely Yiddish. Since my comprehension of Yiddish far outshines my ability to verbally converse in Yiddish, I gather that he would like to go deep into Boro Park. I inform him in Yenglsih that I was going as far as 16th Ave and 39th Street where my son’s yeshiva is located. He tells me, “that’s ok”, as he has to go to 13th and 51st, - however, he will figure how to get the rest of the way from wherever I leave him.   I was not that pressed for time and he really looked hot, so I decided to drive him to 13th and 51st. As we were in car, we talked. I told him a Short Vort about forgetting and forgiving. He told me that he is also a Rav. However, his position is in a small Shabbos congregation in Seagate.  Every Shabbos he leaves his home in Boro Park and spends Shabbos in Seagate where he has a small shul. I (being always curious and looking for Short Vort fodder) ask him, “What do you do the rest of the week?” I assumed that he must be a rebbe or some other rabbinical position. I was a little surprised when he answered that he works in the Masbia free-soup kitchen in Boro Park. I then asked, “Oh, are you the Mashgiach there?” “No”. “Do you work in fund raising?” “No”. “What then do you do there?” “I am one of the cooks in the kitchen. You should know that since we opened a few years ago in Boro Park, we have to open a branch in Williamsburg, Flatbush and this year even Queens.” “Wow, that’s amazing. Who determines who gets a free lunch (or dinner)?” “Whoever enters- gets free food. Man or woman; child or adult; Jew or non-Jew; whoever comes in and needs a free hot meal- we are there to serve them”.   This man is amazing I think to myself. I looked at the skinny, young Chassidishe man in my car. Once again, as usual, Hashem has turned the tables on me. I thought I was the one helping out a fellow Jew, when in reality I was the one being helped. Here was a Talmid Chochom, a Rav , a beautiful Chassidish Yid who realizes that not only it is not beneath his dignity to support his Jewish family; he realizes that he is indeed blessed to be involved in feeding all of Hashem’s children on daily basis; as well as earning an honest livelihood for himself! Talk about a man who smashes obsolete stereotypes!   On Shabbos, he may be a Rav, However, during the week he in nothing less than the sustainer of Hashem’s most needy children; indeed, he is a Tzaddik!   Thank you Hashem, for allowing me to have the zechus (merit) to have such a special person in my car. May we merit to help feed the hungry and may Hashem sustain us so that we should only be from the givers and never from the takers!    short Vort 2010-09-02T09:50:52-05:00 http://ahavasisrael.org/site/the_short_vort_the_little_princess_9_1_10/ http://ahavasisrael.org/site/the_short_vort_the_little_princess_9_1_10/#When:09:14:30Z The Short Vort Good Morning!   Today is Wednesday the 22nd of Elul 5770 and September 1, 2010   The Little Princess   “Today is the first day of the rest of your life” Who has not heard this quote at some time in their life?   Today as I walked home from shul, I noticed her. She must have been five or six years old. She was wearing a brand new blue pleated skirt and freshly pressed white shirt. On her back was a large weighted object which caused her back to arch to such an extent she had to walk hunched over. However, her eyes and face said it all. Her eyes were bright and excited while simultaneously showing slight fear and anxiety of the unknown. Her face was bright and her hair was pulled back in a neat pony tail. She smiled; however, her smile was one of anticipation of the good coupled with a healthy dose of uncertainty as to what the day would bring. Indeed, there was no denying it. She was a first grader on her way to begin her school career.   As a former first grader and former teacher I could predict the contents of her heavy knap sack. Brand new note books with many ‘number two’ pencils (they still make them, don’t they?) plus white out and colored pens and markers.   She quickly ran to the passenger side of her father’s huge Suburban and disappeared into the huge vehicle. I stood there watching as I silently predicted her first day at school. She would meet her Morah and the teacher would explain how first grade is totally different than pre-1A. The Morah would say, “You are now big girls; you are no longer little girls who play the entire day. You will have homework and be expected to complete your assignments.”   Our little friend will have small butterflies in her stomach as she wonders how she will manage in such a big school. She looks around at other girls and wonders to herself, ‘Will I have friends? Do the girls all have friends already form Pre-1A? Will they accept me? Am I wearing my hair the proper way? Will I have friends? Are these girls ‘clickish’? Will the Morah be mean or nice? Will I have friends?’   Today is the first day of the rest of her life.   For how long will our little maidel be able to maintain her pristine innocence? Will she become jaded and cynical? Or will she be inspired and go on to inspire others? Will she be comforted by her teachers and her friends? Or will she be distanced and turned off by them?   Many questions. However, for today, as I watched the little princes make her way into her father’s car, I not- so silently davened that she receive the nurturing and cultivating environment which she (and all of us) desperately need to achieve success.   And did something else; something which was not planned nor predicted; I cried. I cried and cried.   I cried as I thought of all the young men and women who have lost their pristine sheen. I cried when I thought of all the beautiful children who went to first grade with the same smile, anticipation and hope as the little princess, only to have their hopes and dreams smashed and destroyed. I cried for all the precious neshamos who no longer arise in the morning with a feeling of purpose and of hope. I cried for all the young people who ‘in the morning wait for the night and in the night agonize about the coming of the day’. I cried for the smiles which have been erased from their once hopeful faces; perhaps (G-d forbid) never to return. I cried for their innocence and hopes and dreams which were dashed.   I cannot stop crying, the computer screen is a wash in a sea of my tears and the letters are beginning to mesh into one large indiscernible blob of non-clarity.   An older Jew from Frankfurt on Main once told me that he tells his children every time they go into their cars that they she merit to exit the car in the same health which with they entered the car. To paraphrase that holy Jew, I daven that all of our precious children should exit school with the same pristine naiveté with which they entered school. That their hopes and aspirations be fulfilled; that there dreams be accomplished and most importantly, that they never have to ask themselves, Will I have friends?  short Vort 2010-09-01T09:14:30-05:00 http://ahavasisrael.org/site/the_short_vort_when_to_forget_and_when_to_forgive_8_31_10/ http://ahavasisrael.org/site/the_short_vort_when_to_forget_and_when_to_forgive_8_31_10/#When:17:33:44Z The Short Vort Good Morning!   Today is Tuesday the 21st of Elul 5770 and August 31, 2010   When to Forget and When to Forgive   (Number two of a possible three in a trilogy entitled: Three Coins in the Fountain)   If you remember, on Thursday, August 26th, I sent out a Short Vort which dealt with the proper strategy for achieving forgiveness for yourself on Rosh Hashanah.   The basic recap of the strategy is the following:   “Whoever allows things to slide, and is not always looking for ‘an eye for an eye’; and forgives and forgets… Hashem will allow their ‘stuff’ to slide and will forgive and forget their transgressions” (free translation of Gemara Rosh Hashanah 17a)   This is the most important and tried and true method of guaranteeing for yourself an acquittal in two weeks: allowing things to slide.   The more ‘stuff’ you allow to slide, the more of your ‘stuff’ Hashem will allow to slide.   Many of you asked the following: “How can Rabbi Eisenman claim that Chazal felt we should just grant ‘carte blanche’ forgiveness to everyone and anyone who has hurt us during the year?”   “Would Chazal say that the child who has been traumatized by an abuser grant forgiveness in order that they themselves will be forgiven by Hashem- irrespective of the abusers asking for forgiveness?”   “Should the wife who has been on the receiving end of constant and chronic abuse by her husband just grant her abusive husband forgiveness before Rosh Hashanah in the hope that she will receive forgiveness from Hashem, even though the abuse is ongoing and the husband shows no remorse or regret?”   These are very powerful questions and they caused me to go back and ‘crack the books’ and to revisit the issue. Well, guess what? I thank you, my dear readers for because of you, I am revising and upgrading what I wrote last Thursday.   The Rema (Rav Moshe Issralis Zt”l, the Rov in Krakow, Poland in the 16th century and the codifier of Ashkenazi practices) comments in Orach Chayim siman 606, (which deals with the obligation on the sinner to ask forgiveness from their victim on Erev Yom Kippur) -after the Shulchan Aruch informs us to ask forgiveness from those we harmed- “And the forgiver shall not be cruel (thereby preventing him) from forgiving”.   The Mishna Berurah adds (note 8) that the reason the victim shall not be cruel and thereby unforgiving is because: “d’ Kol HaMa’avir Al Midosav, Ma’avirin lo al kol P’sha’av”- which means, “Whoever is not strict in their natural inclination not to forgive-) {and forgives}, that person’s sins will be forgiven”.   Cutting to the chase this means, that the only time Chazal felt we should let things slide and forgive and forget is ONLY WHEN THE SINNER IS SINCERELY CONTRITE, REMORSEFUL AND REPENTANT and EXPRESSES HIS CONTRITENESS AND REMORSE TO HIS VICTIM!   Meaning, Chazal were teaching us that if someone has hurt you; really hurt you, and then they come begging for forgiveness and they are truly sorrowful and regretful, then- and ONLY THEN- although you are still in pain and neither of you can make the act of abuse go away-and notwithstanding the fact that your instinctive reaction is to ignore their apology- not because it is insincere, but rather, because the pain is so great- nevertheless, in this scenario - the Rema and the Mishna Berurah recommend that a person should let their pain ‘slide’ and forgive their abuser. If you can forgive the person is this case, then Hashem will forgive you as well when you sincerely ask for forgiveness and are truly contrite.   However, no where does it say and in no way is a person obliged or even encouraged to forgive in a scenario where their tormentor has never asked for forgiveness properly and certainly not if the sinner is not sincere at all in their claims of remorse!   If a child has been abused by someone, and their abuser has never even acknowledged their victim’s pain and has never admitted and/or fully humbled themselves before the victim, then in this case the abused child/adult is neither required nor even encouraged to forgive!   Indeed, it is absurd to even suggest that Chazal would ever advocate that the victim forgive in this case, for this would facilitate further abuse!   If all abusers knew that the Jewish religion requires or at least recommends that the victim grant absolution irrespective of the contriteness of their abusers, then all abusers, molesters, wife-beaters, pedophiles…would have absolutely no reason to ever change their ways! In fact it would encourage them to keep on adding on more and more victims. After all, is forgiveness is a virtue, irrespective of the abusers penitent posture, then why repent?  If forgiveness is forthcoming notwithstanding their self- improvement then why ever cease their abusive behavior?   Could Chazal be advocating that a woman who is trapped in an emotionally abusive relationship grant forgives to her tyrannical husband every year, just because as he is leaving to Shul on Erev Rosh Hashanah he mumbles a meaningless, insincere and superficial lip service apology of: “I’m sorry”?! An apology which he has been offering for the last thirty years only to continue his scurrilous and cruel comments every year even before the Machzor has been placed back on the shelf after Yom Tov? Certainly not!   Therefore, we are now presenting the ‘upgraded’, improved and definitive concept of ‘forgiving and forgetting’.   If a person has been hurt and pained and their bullying, despotic oppressor has not humbled themselves in complete and total remorse and regret, than there is no reason to forgive. Indeed, one can argue quite convincingly that Chazal were against forgiving in this scenario.   This is borne out by the fact that the Rema points out that the one exception to the suggestion of Chazal to forgive is when the victim feels that by granting forgiveness he/she will be facilitating more abusive behavior by the sinner; or (as the Mishna Berurah points out) if the victim feels that by granting forgiveness they- as the victim- will be incurring more pain and therefore they feel that by not forgiving they are protecting themselves from further harm- then in both of these cases there is no recommendation to forgive!   Therefore, when should we let things slide? When we are asked for forgiveness by our tormentors in a sincere and heartfelt manner- and notwithstanding the fact that we are inclined to hold on to our pain and not to forgive- in this case -since the abuser is indeed sincere, remorseful, and contrite- then in this case and only in this case- we should suppress our natural inclination to hold on to our anger and pain and instead we are charged to go against our natural inclinations and forgive our oppressor.   However, when no remorse is forthcoming, and/or we feel that the remorse is insincere or we feel that by forgiving more pain will come to us- then there is no recommendation to forgive.   It may be G-dly to forgive; however, it is absurd, wrong and downright un-Jewish to advocate forgiving when there is no remorse and/or regret being expressed by he or she who has hurt us.   To forgive is divine- however, to be a facilitator of further pain for you or to others is shameful and wrong!  short Vort 2010-08-31T17:33:44-05:00 http://ahavasisrael.org/site/the_short_vort_in_memory_of_leib_eichenstein_8_30_10/ http://ahavasisrael.org/site/the_short_vort_in_memory_of_leib_eichenstein_8_30_10/#When:11:31:21Z The Short Vort Good Morning!   Today is Monday the 20th of Elul 5770 and August 30, 2010   In Memory of Leib Eichenstein   What follow is a written version of Shabbos’s drosha (sermon) which was delivered before a (somewhat) live audience at Congregation Ahavas Israel in Passaic, NJ.   Based on the positive feedback - I have decided to commit my spoken remarks to writing.   The Vort is entitled Three Coins in the Fountain, based on the fact that I responded to the comments/criticism I received from my readers regarding three Vorts which were disseminated in the last two weeks and which received an unusual amount of feedback.   The three Vorts which are referred to are: Friday the 10th of Elul 5770 and August 20, 2010: “May I Have This Dance?” Wednesday the 15th of Elul 5770 and August 25, 2010: “Downsizing”. Thursday the 16th of Elul 5770 and August 26, 2010: “Lesson Number Two”   Comments Number One on “May I Have This Dance?”   Although I received much feedback advocating the continued practice of separate circles at the Chasunah for the parents of the Chosson, Kallah and their friends, nevertheless, I add the following thoughts:   Although I certainly understand whythis has occurred: young people dance too intensely; older people do not know the Chosson and Kallah and feel their presence does not enhance the Simcha ….   However, when all is said and done, isn’t there something very wrong with the system? Have we become so ‘it’s my way or no way’ oriented that if I don’t know the Chosson personally I can conclude that I cannot celebrate with him?   I still maintain the when weddings were smaller; less expensive; and less ‘crazy’ dancing, things were better.   When Klal Yisroel dances as one, despiteall the compelling reason which post-facto validate separate circles- things were better. Hashem loved His people even more when they were able to dance as one despite all of the possible and probable reasons which are given to ‘split up’. However, why do I feel so passionate about this?   I conclude with a story from my own wedding which occurred almost 30 years ago; when cell phones were a dream and people danced as one at weddings.   My father Z’L, who was born in 1925, was almost 60 years old when I married. Many of his peers who attended my wedding were survivors ‘of the camps’. They spoke with heavy Yiddish accents and they were often loud and somewhat uncouth. They did not know about the Yankees and they were not embarrassed to embrace and kiss each other when they met at Chasunahs. They were not yeshiva educated and they could not learn ‘a Blatt Gemara’. They were not wealthy and they were frugal in their spending. However, when they danced at a wedding, they danced as if this was their last dance.   My father’s friend Leib Eichenstein was one the Chevra (group). He drove a taxi in Manhattan for thirty five years since the war ended. He had two children; a boy and girl. He believed in America. He made his livelihood in America. When it was time to send his children to school, he sent them to the public school of his host country; the country that took him in after Poland threw him out.   He regretted that decision. His son- Jeffery- –who was his oldest- never married and never wanted to marry. His son was rich and successful; America was good to him. His son went to college and became a stock broker; making his first million before his thirtieth birthday. He remained single and lived what he considered, ‘the good life’.   Leib’s daughter, Jennifer- was brilliant. She received a ‘1600’ on her SAT exam and was granted a full scholarship at Barnard. She was admitted to an MD/PHD program at 17 years old. Her entire life was dedicated to finding a cure for cancer and for making the world a better place to live.   Unfortunately, she never found time to cure her father’s unhappiness.   Leib hoped his son would be his ‘kaddishel’; the son who would say Kaddish after him went he left this world. It was not to be. As Jeffrey would often tell me when we would meet at simchos, “I am too smart to believe in anything as silly as a G-d”.   Jeffrey would never recite the Kaddish for his father Leib and Leib knew that too well. Leib davened that his daughter Jennifer would bring him einaklach (grandchildren); this too was not to be.  Jennifer was so involved with healing the world; she had no time to heal herself or her father. Jennifer was a ‘career woman’; and she lived in a childless universe.   My father Z’l and mother sent my brother and me to Yeshiva; in thanks to them I did not become Jeffrey Eichenstein.   On the night of my wedding, Leib- who was 61 years old- arrived early. As he came into the Chosson’s Tisch- he spoke loudly and did not tie his tie neatly. He sat through the Chupah and waited patiently as pictures were taken. Then the dancing began.   At one point in the dancing someone suggested to pick up the Chosson on a chair. As the group of young people began to lift me up, I noticed a fleshy arm reach out to help elevate the chair. As I looked at the arm- the arm with the blue numbers tattooed on to it- I knew immediately who was the ‘owner’ of the arm.   Leib Eichenstein did not ‘know’ me. Leib Eichenstein was not ‘my friend’. Yet, Leib Eichenstein danced with me with more enthusiasm than 90% of the men who were there. Leib danced as it there was no tomorrow; indeed, for him there was no tomorrow.   When he was leaving the wedding, Leib came over to me, stuffed an envelope into my inner jacket pocket and said to me the words which became emblazoned on my mind for the last 28 years.   “Ron, I am so happy for you. Not just that you have gotten married, but more importantly how you married. You are probably wondering why an ‘alter Yid’ (old Jew) such as I danced so much at your wedding? Allow me to tell you the following: Your wedding makes me realize that there is hope. My son Jeffrey will never say the Kaddish for me. My daughter Jennifer- will never give me grandchildren. I spent five years suffering, starving and dying to survive ‘the war’. However, my victory was short lived. What Hitler could not do to me with the butt of a gun or the crack of a whip- I did to myself. I arrived in the ‘promised land’ and achieved prosperity and freedom. However, in achieving freedom, I lost my soul and my G-d. Ron, you showed me tonight that there is hope and there is endurance. I saw you staring at my numbers when I helped pick you up. If someone would have told me when those numbers were burned into my flesh that I would one day dance at a real Yiddishe Chasunah, I would have said that they have lost their mind. Ron, I know we are not ‘friends’ but, in ways more meaningful than any Nachas my children have ever given me- I felt a sense of victory and validation by being able to dance with you at your chasunah. Thank you and one more thing. Ron, promise me that whenever you see one of us; you know what I mean, one of us with ‘the numbers’. Please promise that you will never leave us to remain out of the circle. Please promise me when you see one my Chevra at a Chasunah that you will schlep him into the inner circle. Thank you and may Hashem bless you.”     I guess you now can understand why I never liked separate circles.                    short Vort 2010-08-30T11:31:21-05:00 http://ahavasisrael.org/site/the_short_vort_lesson_number_two_8_26_10/ http://ahavasisrael.org/site/the_short_vort_lesson_number_two_8_26_10/#When:12:07:01Z The Short Vort Good Morning!   Today is Thursday the 16th of Elul 5770 and August 26, 2010   Lesson Number Two   Continuing in our constant search to win the judgment which is now LESS THAN TWO WEEKS AWAY!!!   I don’t mean to scare you, but, I really do. I mean, if I really love you then I want you to be around for many, many more years; if in order to achieve this, it means lighting a fire under you, well I’ll do it!   If you were a careless driver who drove while being intoxicated, would anyone ever think it’s wrong for me to put the ‘fear of death’ in you to convince you to quit?   So for all of you people who felt I was too strong and too scary yesterday: Hey, get over it! This is serious business and I love you too much to just allow you to continue on your merry way to Gehinom!   With that introduction, let’s get busy with lesson number two.   “Whoever allows things to slide, and is not always looking for ‘an eye for an eye’; and forgives and forgets… Hashem will allow their ‘stuff’ to slide and will forgive and forget their transgressions” (free translation of Gemara Rosh Hashanah 17a)   This is the most important and tried and true method of guaranteeing for yourself an acquittal in two weeks: allowing things to slide.   The more ‘stuff’ you allow to slide, the more of your ‘stuff’ Hashem will allow to slide.   The Gemara in Rosh Hashanah backs up this statement with a true story.   The Gemara informs us that Rav Huna was really sick. His buddy Rav Papa went to visit. Upon exiting his room, Rav Papa told his family, “It looks pretty bad. I think its time you began to prepare the burial shrouds.” Surprisingly, Rav Huna recovered. Rav Papa was hesitant to visit. However, when he finally visited, Rav Huna told him, “Don’t feel bad. When I was sick I actually began my final journey. Indeed, I heard the gatekeepers saying, “Hey make room for one more who is about to arrive at any minute”.  However, as they were about to close the curtain on me, Hashem himself appeared and said, “Leave my friend Rav Huna alone. Since he is a fellow who allows things to slide, we’re going to let this one slide as well”. Soon after that, I started to improve until- thank Hashem- I have recovered fully”.   The Ari’Zal once said, “If we would realize how much Kapara (forgiveness) is generated on our behalf when we are pained, insulted, humiliated, and we do not answer and allow it to ‘slide’, we would run after people and beg them to insult us!”   Friends, I think you get the point.  Think about the person who has insulted you the most this past year; the one who really humiliated you. If you can find it in your heart to let it slide, you will be doing yourself the BEST thing you can for YOUR future!   There is nothing more potent in our arsenal than the ability to forgive and forget; it can literally make the difference in our lives between life and death.  short Vort 2010-08-26T12:07:01-05:00 http://ahavasisrael.org/site/the_short_vort_downsizing_8_25_10/ http://ahavasisrael.org/site/the_short_vort_downsizing_8_25_10/#When:10:57:12Z The Short Vort Good Morning!   Today is Wednesday the 15th of Elul 5770 and August 25, 2010   Downsizing   As a rabbi; you know of course that I have a direct line to the Man Upstairs.   I therefore feel compelled to share with you some insider information which I was recently privy to. Please listen careful as this news can affect every one on the Short Vort mailing list.   We are all too aware of the economic downturn which has affected almost every industry in the country. We are also keenly aware of the negative impact it has had on the Jewish community.   However, you may not be aware of the following VERIFIED insider news. I have just received word that this coming year, Hashem has had to make some cuts in his work force. Indeed, I have inside information based on a source that chooses to remain anonymous, that in the coming year, Hashem is planning on downsizing His American force by over 2,420,000!   This means that each day of the coming year about 6,700 Americans will be eliminated from Hashem’s American division.   Indeed, I have also ascertained that out of these, about 40% are sudden. This means, that in the coming year, on each day 2,600 Americans will wake up in the morning expecting to live for a long time to come; however, unfortunately for them and for their loves ones, it will be their last day in this world.   Why am I informing all of you of this jolly news? The answer is simple; I am informing you of this because you can avoid being downsized!   That’s right, I, Ron Yitzchok Eisenman have the secret formula to save yourself from being downsized this year!   And guess what? I am going to give out this priceless information for free! I ask for nothing in return, chalk it up to my wanting to do a good deed for the day.   Anyway, let’s get to work; the downsizing list is going out on Thursday September 9th! We have no time to spare. After September 9th there may be 10 days to appeal your being place on the downsizing list; however, on Saturday night September 18th at about 8 pm, the downsizing office is closed for the year and whoever is on the list is a ‘gonner’.   You may get a severance package and you may be able to continue working for a few months; however, once you are on the downsizing list, it is almost impossible -without protectzia from the Big Boss- to get yourself off the list.   So let’s get moving and let’s make sure that none of us are on the list.   What to do to avoid being downsized:   1)      Here is piece of advice from one of the largest self-help business on line sites:   It’s not always within your control to determine whether you are the next one affected in a company’s efforts to trim costs, but there are a host of things you can do to help minimize your presence of your head on the chopping block. ·        The jobs that get saved are the ones held by people who seem essential to the ongoing success of the business. ·         When firms look to cut staff, troublemakers, slackers and those who don’t seem like team players are the easiest cuts to make.    Friends; that is sound advice; as the same advice holds true for helping yourself from being put on Hashem’s chopping block.   Therefore, if you want to avoid being put on the list on Thursday, September 9th make sure you get yourself a job which makes you essential to the ongoing success of the business!   Hashem ultimately has promised not to eliminate the entire Jewish people; as the passuk in Yirmiyahu (46:28) says: “You fear not, My servant Jacob, says the Lord, for I am with you, for I will make a full end of all the nations where I have driven you, but of you I will not make a full end, but I will chastise you justly, and I will not completely destroy you.”                                     Therefore, although, individuals will be eliminated, the community as a whole will never be destroyed. Obviously, those of us who help Hashem insure the continued existence of the community by serving and being indispensable to the community will most probably avoid being place on ‘the list’.   Ask yourself the following questions in order to gauge your chances of being on or off ‘the list’. 1)      Am I an essential, indispensable part of Hashem’s work force? 2)      Am I serving the community in a way that Hashem has a vested interest in keeping me off the downsizing list? 3)      Do I support community endeavors? 4)      Do I fulfill my financial obligations to those Jewish institutions from which I and others benefit from? 5)      Do I make sure that I am not a ‘free-loader’ who does not shoulder the financial responsibilities of the community? 6)      Do I help spread Hashem’s message in this world? 7)      Do I learn and teach Torah to the best of my abilities? 8)      Am I involved in Chessed activities to the best of my abilities? 9)      Do I give of myself to in order to help Hashem help His people? 10)  Do I give Hashem nachas by davening properly and with kavanah?   If you answered eight or more ‘yesses’to the above questions, than you are doing ‘not bad’ and you may indeed be spared from ‘the list’ However, if you answered seven or less ‘yesses’; than I advise you to rethink your daily activities and start generating more ‘yesses’; if you don’t, your name may be on ‘the list’!   Time is of the essence, so get busy and start improving. Remember, once the list is out there, it’s too late!   Stay tuned tomorrow for more insider tips to avoid ‘the axe’!    short Vort 2010-08-25T10:57:12-05:00 http://ahavasisrael.org/site/the_short_vort_get_a_look_at_who_is_nothing_8_24_10/ http://ahavasisrael.org/site/the_short_vort_get_a_look_at_who_is_nothing_8_24_10/#When:12:14:01Z The Short Vort Good Morning!   Today is Tuesday the 14th of Elul 5770 and August 24, 2010   Get a Look at who is Nothing!?   There are not that many “rabbi jokes” out there. In fact, in comparison with doctors and lawyers, there are just a few and far between ‘rabbi jokes’. However, here is one which has to do with the upcoming ‘high-holyday season’ and is appropriate for us.   The Story of the Rabbi, the Cantor, and the Shul President   It was Kol Nidrei night and the Shul was packed. Not a seat was to be had; it was an SRO night at the local synagogue.             The Rabbi, while looking out at the massive crowd; and upon seeing all of the men decked out in their kittels, noticed all of the Yahrtzeit lamps glowing from the back of the sanctuary. The sight of the angelic looking men combined with the soft orange glow of the Yahrtzeit lamps took their toll on the Rabbi and he collapsed in a swoon on the Bima.             As the Rabbi was stretched out on the Bima, he screamed out in an emotion laden voice, “G-d, who am I to be chosen to lead this congregation to forgiveness today? I am a nothing!”             The Shul Cantor, not to be undone by the Rabbi, quickly collapsed on the Bima. As he was falling, he utilized his best falsetto voice as he intoned, “Oh great G-d in heaven, who am I to chosen to be the Cantor of this holy congregation? Oh, dear G-d, I am a nothing!”             At this point, the President of the Congregation, who was also prominently displayed on the Bima of the synagogue, stood up and promptly dropped down to the floor. As he was dropping he declared, “Oh, all powerful and rich G-d, who am I to be honored with being the president of this congregation? I am a nothing!”             At this point, the Cantor lifted his head off the floor, looked up at the Rabbi and said, “Hey Rabbi, get a look at who has the chutzpah to think he is also a nothing!” (Now you can start to laugh; not too much, just a chuckle or two will suffice)   This story is very important to the process of Teshuva.   On one hand in order to achieve Teshuva, we have to realize that we are something, Meaning, if we want to achieve any success in Teshuva, we cannot just say, “We are nothing”. Meaning, if we constantly say, “We are nothing”, then we can never improve.  After all, if we truly believe that we are nothing, then a real ‘nothing’ can never really improve; after all a ‘nothing’ has nothing in them to improve.   On the other hand, if we really believe we are so ‘great’ that we can even claim ‘we are a nothing’, and that people can ask about us, “Get a look at who thinks they are nothing?” We also will never improve.   True Teshuva, requires a balanced and fair view of ourselves. On one hand, if we truly believe we are nothing, then we will never improve. A person, whose self-esteem is so low that they are convinced that they are helpless, is also hopeless; and a hopeless person will not change.    However, if we believe we are truly great, indeed, so great that we feel confident publicly proclaiming how ‘nothing’ (read: EVERYTHING) we really are, we also will never change. After all, if I have reached my goal already, there is nothing else to strive to.   Equally problematic is when I feel the goal is unattainable because I am so low; as there is nothing there with which to work with.   True Teshuva requires the person to realize that there is room for improvement while simultaneously recognizing that improvement is indeed attainable and possible.   In short to change, improve and do Teshuva, I must realize I am ‘something’ and that ‘something’ can get better, while simultaneously avoiding the parallel abysmal pits of despair or haughtiness, as both can lead to stagnation or even worse.   To begin to change, I must believe I am a something who can become an even better something- while resisting the temptation to ‘cop-out’ by either blaming my distorted inflated view of myself, or by blaming my equally distorted deflated view of myself.   Now let us begin…remember the court case is two weeks from Thursday.  short Vort 2010-08-24T12:14:01-05:00