The Short Vort
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The Short Vort (3/31/08)
The Short Vort
Good Morning!
Today is Tuesday the 6th of Nissan 5769 and March 31, 2009
Good Night With One More Word.
I remember when I was first married I would daven in a small Shul in Washington Heights where the average age of the attendees was about 85. The neighborhood around the Shul was no longer Jewish and they would have trouble getting a Minyan.
They decided to offer to pay some bochurim (unmarried men) to attend the Minyan. One young man, who took them up on their offer, struggled to get to Shul with 15 minutes of the 6:45 am starting time.
One morning after Minyan I heard him speaking to Mr.Linz who at that time must have been well over 80 and was ready with his talis and tefillin on from 6:15 and onward.
The conversation went as follows:
Mr. Linz: “Why do you find it so difficult to get here by 6:45, If I can sleep past 5 am it is a miracle.
Young Bachur: “I really envy you Mr. Linz, I am looking forward to the time my body no longer requires the amount of sleep I need now”.
I recall as I listened to the conversation which took place in 1982, that somehow I doubted if the young bachur would really feel the same way when he was that old and was physically unable to sleep as much as he needed or at least wanted.
My hunch was right and now as I write these words at 1:42 a.m. and I am once again struggling with another night when the restful and peaceful sanctuary of sleep eludes me; I realize how silly the words of that bachur 27 years ago were.
My body craves for sleep, yet the mind continues to race and pace, unwilling or perhaps more terrifying, unable to shut down and allow the redemptive serenity of nocturnal rest to overtake my body and allow it to retreat to the painless and mindless state of slumber.
However, my insomnolence is not the theme of this morning’s words. Time will tell if I am at the Daf HaYomi punctually or at all; and time will tell if I will be able to interact with people later in the day in a cheerful and chipper manner.
The point of today’s Vort is one word and one word only; and that is to remind us that the Mitzvah of V’higadeta L’Vinchah- the Mitzvah of engaging your child with regard to the story of Pesach begins in my humble semi-comatose state already today before the actual Seder.
During these final hectic days of preparation prior to the pristine Passover party, we often mistake our children as human punching bags. Sometimes literally (Hashem should save us!), yet, more often figuratively.
Meaning, we expect them to help with the cleaning and when they fail to live up to our cleaning expectations, we scold and often abuse (yes, I did use that word, and I will say it again) verbally abuse our children in ways which certainly doesn’t help them feel good about being Jews or even people for that matter.
The whole point of the Mitzvah of V’higadeta L’Vinchah is involving and focusing on the children for the Seder so that they should realize that they are special.
Hoverer, if your child has been ridiculed and reviled, shamed and outright hurt in the week leading up to Pesach, is it any wonder that the only reaction they have to us when we try to make them feel special at the Seder is, “Sorry, Mom and Dad, however, this is all too little too late!”
So please, I know this week is a toughie and I know all of us think only our children do not help; however, trust me, and I know this to be true. Everyone’s children are alike and everyone thinks only their children do not help. However, the truth is they are just like us and like us they are trying to do their best.
So, love them and appreciate them. For as we all know too painfully well, we would never give them up for a minute.
As one great person used to say: (I think it was a singer on the kids show ‘Wonderama’) “Kids are people too!”
Love and cherish them, they grow up so fast!!!